Feeling sick and tired? Why not try some spam!

tytoc collie's reaction to spam was dramatic,
if predictable (photo of Elvis, courtesy of
Ignacio Marques, Baker & McKenzie)

Every so often tytoc collie gets an email which makes him chuckle. Usually they offer him a chance to get rich quick, quantities of "herbal viagra" (sic), replica Rolexes [Merpel wonders, if the plural of "index" is "indices", shouldn't the plural of Rolex be Rolices?], doctoral degrees from "prestigious unaccredited universities" and dodgy offers from the heirs of cash-rich cancer-ridden villains.  The email below wasn't even sent to him, being forwarded by a reader.  It goes like this:

"----- Original Message -----
From: "Alan Albright"
To:
Sent: Wednesday, February 02, 2011 1:48 PM
Subject: PatentDrafting.co.uk

Would you like to secure hundreds of extra orders every month at zero ongoing cost? [This Kat is content with his humble crust, but might just be tempted ...]

The domain PatentDrafting.co.uk that we have for sale is ready to drive substantial traffic and new business to you that would have cost you tens of thousands of pounds a year to replace by instead purchasing expensive Google AdWords.[but how much would it cost to get a descriptive term like 'patent drafting' to the top of the "organic" hit list via search engine optimisation, particularly when patentdrafting.com is already in pole position?]

Most of our clients (who include Microsoft, HM Government, American Express, the Royal Bank of Scotland, Renault UK and Deutsche Telekom) are now finding that prime keyword domains pay for themselves within weeks rather than months by virtue of the extra business that they drive to their websites by means of type in traffic and greatly enhanced search engine positions. [The imagine of a Renault driving through the traffic flashes into the mind ..]

Please feel free to get in touch if you’re sick and tired of getting fleeced by greedy Google! [The Kat has heard this sentiment over recent months and years, though the signatory of this email is the first person who seems to be addressing it, alas] Why pay through the nose for traffic that you can now have for free? [... assuming that people really still use domain name type-ins rather than finding the sites they want in less than a second via ... Google]

Best regards,

Alan Albright
eBarclays.com [not to be confused with Barclays, of course]"

Thanks, Sang Nkhwazi (Mancunium IP) for forwarding this.